Living Life Together

From the beginning of creation God created us as social beings.  He knew it was not good for us to travel this journey alone. Christ Himself spent so much of His time walking the roads of Jerusalem with His disciples building into their lives.  He not only spent time with the ones He was closest to, but reached out to those that needed encouragement along the way.

For many of us we can think of those people in our lives who built into us, who invested time when we needed it the most.  Is there a time when a woman in your life just stepped in at exactly the right time to get you through a crisis or help in a decision that had to be made, or simply encourage you in your walk with Christ?

I recently read that a mentor is someone who invests in another person for the purpose of Gods kingdom.  Have you been that person to someone else?  In the book of Luke it tells us that when Mary found out that she was pregnant she traveled 60miles from Nazareth to Judea to spend time with Elizabeth . I’m sure that Mary knew that Elizabeth was going to encourage her in this difficult time of her young life.  Mary ended up spending three months with Elizabeth being taught and encouraged to follow the course that God Himself chose for her.  Although our relationships might not be to that extent, God does want us to set aside time to build intentional relationships with women who are older and younger then ourselves.  I am as guilty as the next person with a calendar so packed with things that putting in another relationship is difficult to imagine.  Unfortunately, we get ourselves so busy that we cannot slow down enough to hear Christ speaking to us.  I would like to encourage you this week to find the time to ask God to bring someone to mind that you can build an INTENTIONAL RELATIONSHIP with.  Let’s start really walking life together.

Suggestions for the Week

* write, call or even better meet with that person who has been an encouragement to you and thank them for their investment in your life!

* do the difficult thing and call someone that you would like to get to know better and meet for coffee

* PRAY for the opportunity to invest or mentor in someone’s life.  God wants to use all of us for HIS GLORY!

As you have been reading, the summer focus is on intentional relationships.  You’ve read Angela’s overview of the value of women’s friendships and Dana’s experience with mentoring.  How about looking at the concept of accountability?

The challenge before us is to consider how a relationship has had a significant impact.  It didn’t take me long to think about my little accountability group.  I know – if asked to say the first thing that comes to mind when those words are said is “eww, yuck,” you are not alone.  Who wants to be accountable to anyone these days?  Isn’t it the American way to be independent and a Lone Ranger???  Biblically speaking – no.

I was introduced to the concept of accountability group a few years following a women’s ministry conference.  I wasn’t horribly excited about it and in fact, it was a couple more years before anything concrete came out of it.  It wasn’t long however, before our fearless leader, Angela, pitched another challenge to us as she made it a priority for members of the women’s ministry team to trial.  Hence the beginning of fairly regular meetings between myself and two other women – in fact, we are now in our third year together.

It was a bit awkward at first – I mean, what is the purpose and how would we get started?

Well, thankfully, due to the fact that most women are not at a loss for words, it didn’t take us long to become comfortable with talk. As a sideline and for your entertainment, check out this website:

http://www.snotr.com/video/2630

Back to the topic at hand – we had some questions to guide us along – e.g.,

• • • Did you spend significant time with God through His Word, prayer, quiet time, devotions this week?

• • • Did you go and participate in church activities and worship this week? How so? Why not?

• • • In what ways has God blessed you this week?

• • • What are you struggling with?

• • • What would you like prayer for?

There are some harder ones – are you involved in something that is not honoring to God?  Ouch!

The benefits?  A deeper friendship with two women whom have become very dear to me.  I can count on them to lift me up in prayer when the need arises.  One of the unexpected gifts – they are like me!!!!!  We have the same struggles with family and work.  I am not the only one out there who some days hates my job or worse yet, hates all of humanity! They have been a constant source of encouragement and joy and I so look forward to our times together.

Now, it doesn’t hurt that we meet at Panera and eat – you know food is always a motivation to go somewhere.  However, this has truly been a great experience and I hope it continues for many more years.

If interested, I would recommend the book we used – Heart Friends – Beginning and Maintaining a Small Accountability Group – by Shirley Moses and Margaret Kennedy.

Remember, we are not alone and we are not supposed to be – Hebrews 10:19-25 says we are to draw near to God…. have our bodies washed with pure water…. hold unswervingly to the hope we profess and consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  How?  By not giving up meeting together but encouraging one another.

The challenge?  Find one or two other women and get to Panera – ASAP!!!!!

I have had the privilege to mentor many ladies over the past couple years and have been so blessed by it.  God seems to bring me women who are going through a crisis.  I have no idea why, but He always provides me with what I need to give them- the scripture they need, the opportunity to pray with them and the challenge to keep them accountable.

One of my high school friends called me a couple of years ago as she was struggling with an issue.  We knew we were both believers, but did not live for the Lord in high school- in fact, quite the opposite!  As we met, I gave her scripture, prayed with her and we talked for a long time.  She looked at me and asked, “How did you get here?” — meaning knowledgeable about God’s word, etc.  I thought about that and I immediately said, through doing bible studies, going to a church that preaches God’s truth, serving where needed and most importantly spending my quiet time with the Lord.  I have been thinking about this more lately as we focus on “intentional relationships” for our summer theme, and how much older women of this church have impacted my life.

I remember when I was pregnant with Joshua (who is now 13) and I was in a bible study. I think I was the youngest person in the group!  These women held a surprise baby shower for me and prayed over me with hands on my baby.  I was crying my eyes out. To think that these women cared enough about me to do this! Now I know that they were displaying the love of Christ. I wasn’t that close to any of them- but the impact that had on me and my faith was huge!

Another example is at one of my first women’s retreats at the High Braes.  We were sitting on the big porch and several women, young and “more mature,” were just having conversations about our spiritual lives.  I was sharing with them one of my struggles and one of my favorite saints said, “oh honey, I still struggle with that!”  Whew, was I relieved that even when you are more mature, you still have struggles!

In Titus 2:4-5 says, “Then they (older women) can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”  It appears to me that the idea of “mentoring” is pretty important to God!  I would just like to encourage each woman reading this that life is hard and we need each other to get through it.  Sometimes you are the giver and sometimes you are the receiver, but whatever stage of life you are in- you are valuable to others and most of all to our heavenly father and creator.

I pray that you take a moment over the next couple of weeks and look around to see who God has placed in your life.  I bet there is an opportunity for you to mentor-or maybe it’s just to share an experience, to be a good listener, or to pray with someone.  We have so much to learn from each other and from God’s word.  I thank God for the women He has placed in my life and pray that He continues to use each of us for His glory.

“God gives priceless love gifts in the form of those who put up with us (those He sends to us). Be thankful for those who have said, “yes, Lord” when He directed them your way. It’s impossible to pay God back, but very possible to pass on the treasures He’s given. If someone has done that for you, you are rich indeed. Go and do the same for one who needs it today.”*

As a woman, one of my greatest needs is friendship. I love girlfriends! Each one adds a dimension to my life that I need. I laugh with them, seek their counsel and learn so much about life. As I consider the women who’ve said yes to God when He directed them my way, I’m so grateful for the different sizes, shapes and color of women He’s brought me. All ages, all stages of life. Sometimes we can get into a rut and just have girlfriends our own age and in the same season of life. Or we can think we have a lot of friends – maybe 300+ on Facebook, but rarely an in-depth exchange. (A mile wide, but ¼ inch deep.) Neither of these is bad, of course, but it’s so stimulating to spend time with women of all ages and I know God means for us to live life together in deep, meaningful friendships. Ones in which we point one another in the direction of Christ, the center of our lives.

“People who know Christ well look alike. They are loving, enormously patient, generous even with little and always prayerful. These are the ones to run to, safe places in a world full of pain, grace-filled confessors who will listen without judgment and offer true comfort and compassion when needed, as well as wise and truthful words when requested.”*

When I read that quote from my devotional two things came to mind.

1. Who are the women who have been that kind of friend to me? And

2. Who have I been that kind of friend to?

As far as answering the first question, I listed many names in my journal at that moment. It was hard to choose just one for this devotion! At first, I leaned toward those friendships that were born out of need. When I had a need, certain women provided it. But, to answer that question for today, I’d have to say that one of my most fun and stimulating relationships is with an older woman at church. When I began to get to know her a few years ago, I remember thinking, “Where has this woman been all my life?” I’ve watched her pour her life and time into younger women. I’ve watched her faithfully serve the Lord at church. One of my favorite things about our friendship is the stimulating conversation, particularly about church “stuff” and generational differences. She helps me understand how her generation sees things and I hope I do the same for her. One thing’s for sure, I always come away from our time together wanting more. I want to hear more about how God has been at work in her life - both in the past and the present. I want to laugh with her some more because she’s so funny! And I love it when she asks me questions about how I, a younger, whippersnapper type, feel about modern day Christianity or about the world we live in and what I think God is up to in it. I think our relationship brings God glory. I know it brings me much pleasure and stretches me to think beyond my “own understanding.” I’m challenged to know God deeper, to walk with Him for as many years as she has, and to do it well.

So many women have filled my life in so many different ways. This prayer is one I pray for them: “Father, make me a wise woman with all the qualities you hold dear. Thank you for sending those who know You well into my life to let me see and feel your love in action. Bless every one of them, Lord, especially those who were unaware their lives shone for You so brightly.”*

Don’t you love a great theme? I do. At our most recent Women’s Ministry leadership meeting we discussed centering our weekly devotions around a theme for the summer. We will be exploring this topic more in-depth at the Coffee Talk scheduled for June 20 at 9am - with real live testimonies! (Don’t miss it!)

In the meantime, each of us on the women’s ministry team is going to write a devotional this summer to tell you about a significant relationship we’ve benefited from in our life. It is our hope and desire that as you read them you will be inspired to reflect on your own life and the women who have marked you. We also pray you feel the nudge and challenge to reach out to women both older and younger than you are to enjoy the richness of godly friendships. Ask God what He wants for you and what He has for you in this area.

Please feel free to jot us a note to let us know what God is doing in your life through this summer series. We love you. And for those of you in Syracuse, we hope to see you at Coffee Talk on June 20.

*Meet Me at the Well by Virelle Kidder

I recently read Chuck Swindoll’s book “So You Want to Be Like Christ?”.  It’s a book about spiritual disciplines.  I love disciplines.  I don’t always love discipline, but I love disciplines.  Setting my mind and purposes toward a closer relationship with God.  How can this be in any way negative?  Yet, let’s be honest, when someone mentions “spiritual disciplines” we cringe because we fear it will be painful.

I disagree!  Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the book: “Discipline is training that corrects and perfects our mental faculties or molds our moral character.  Discipline is control gained by enforced obedience.  It is the deliberate cultivation of inner order….If intimacy (w/Christ) is our goal, discipline is a means to that end.”  (p. 21)

Summer’s coming, nearly here.  We’re all looking for some time off.  To enjoy the outdoors.  To spend time with friends and family.  Perhaps to work less, play more.  But that attitude (which isn’t wrong - but very necessary!) can seep into our spiritual life too, and we can become lax in our relationship with God.  Don’t do it!  Be deliberate this summer in cultivating intimacy with God.  Make that your #1 priority, especially if it takes a backseat during your busy year.

Spend time each morning with your Savior and your Bible.  Get a book out of the church library on spiritual disciplines.  There are many to choose from that will be helpful in your intentionality for inner order.  Growing spiritually never happens by accident, it’s always on purpose, requiring our effort.  Chuck also says, “Seeking intimacy with the Almighty requires focused determination, demands specific changes in attitude and behavior…”  Let’s show God how much we love Him by a relentless pursuit of intimacy with Him this summer (and beyond!).

If you’ve read a book that’s been helpful to you in this area please log on and post it for the rest of us.

The Songs of Easter

by Angela Burtis

You know how we have special music we listen to for certain holidays or times of year? Patriotic songs in July. Beach songs in the summer. Of course, Christmas songs from Thanksgiving on. Certain singers just scream Christmas, don’t they? For some it’s Bing Crosby. Some the Chipmunks. For me, it’s Karen Carpenter and in recent years, MercyMe. But what about Easter?

Thursday was the day. I got up in the morning and knew it was time. I dug out my Easter cd’s. What? You don’t have any? I bet you do. If you’re my age or older – you probably have the same ones as me. “Was it a Morning Like This?”, “I’ve Just Seen Jesus” and my personal favorite “Who Will Call Him King of Kings?” blared out of my van all day (it was a nice day – my windows were down!). No one sings Easter to me more than Sandi Patty. It wasn’t long before the tears started flowing. Nothing like your kids saying, “Mom, I don’t want you to listen to this because if you do, you’re going to cry, aren’t you?”. Yeah, they’ve been around their mother a few Easters. I said, “This is good crying! It’s not sad. It’s worship.” And it’s the time of year, like no other, that we need to make our celebrating a big deal.

The lyrics are rich and meaningful. Enjoy a few:

• Was it a morning like this? Did the grass sing? Did the earth rejoice to feel you again? Over and over like a trumpet underground, did the earth seem to pound: “He is Risen”

• Down the Via Dolorosa called the way of suffering

Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King,

But He chose to walk that road out of His love for you and me.

Down the Via Dolorosa, all the way to Calvary.

• I’ve just seen Jesus I tell you He’s alive
  I’ve just seen Jesus Our precious Lord alive
  And I knew, He really saw me too
  As if till now, I’d never lived
  All that I’d done before won’t matter anymore
  I’ve just seen Jesus and I’ll never be the same again

• Calvary’s Lamb, O Righteous One

For sinners died, whose sins were none

All that I have, all that I am

I owe to Thee, O Calvary’s Lamb

• Their spirits soared as fear was turned to joy standing there before their eyes

Jesus clothed in radiant white
and with a voice they they’d heard before

He told them, “Go and tell the world that I’m alive!”
They ran as fast as feet could fly “The Lord is risen”, was their cry
and you could hear them say,
”We will call him king of kings! We will call him Lord of Lords!
We will call him Prince of Peace! Such a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty GOD!”

I hope this has stirred your heart to worship and to celebrate what Easter means to you.  Even blaring it out your car’s windows!  Why not?  Tell the world.  Happy Resurrection Day!

1. Was It a Morning Like This?
2. The Via Dolorosa
3. I’ve Just Seen Jesus
4. O Calvary’s Lamb
5. Who Will Call Him King of Kings?

All sung by Sandi Patty

Good Friday. Such a dichotomy, isn’t it? How could something so bad be so good? It’s Good because if Jesus hadn’t willingly gone to the cross to carry our sins, we would be sunk and without hope. But it’s so bad because Jesus willingly went to the cross to carry our sins and paid a pretty hefty price. Betrayal, denial, mocking, misrepresentation, suffering, abandonment…. every experience so negative and painful. Yet we must celebrate it. Mostly, because we don’t deserve the benefits. I’m so glad God doesn’t require us to (Eph. 2:8, 9).

I find myself especially grateful this year for the cross of Calvary. I’m so thankful to Jesus for making a way for me to be part of His family. I shudder to think what my life would look like without Him. In Bible study this week we learned a new and very meaningful concept: Reversal of Destiny. It’s a time when God steps into our life and presents us with an opportunity to turn our life in the total opposite direction. The work of Jesus on the cross is pivotal to all who have experienced this reversal of destiny. I remember when it happened to me.

I was sixteen years old when I first heard the Gospel message. Jesus died on a cross for my sins? I can’t get to heaven by just being good? He loves me? Even though He knows everything I’ve ever done? Everything I’ve said? Everything I’ve thought? (gasp) I need to confess my sins to God and allow Him to be the Lord of my life and future? I can have new life in Him? In spite of all the messes I’ve made? Just because Jesus died for me?

I knew a good deal when I heard it. I gratefully and humbly accepted His gift (John 3:16). Reversal of Destiny. You don’t want to know the path I was headed down. For sure, I would self-destruct by age 20. I fell for every self-focused scheme to find happiness. They didn’t work. But then God changed my focus. What a change! When Jesus saved me He turned my life around. When I finally grasped 2 Cor. 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” I said goodbye to the old way of thinking. The old way of living. The old pursuits of so-called happiness.

I’ll never be the same again. And I’m happy. Jesus makes life more than worthwhile. He is my Savior. He loves me. And He has given my life purpose. He has saved me from the power of sin that tries to keep me as less than who He wants me to be. Reversal of Destiny. Talk about dichotomy. When living for self, I was miserable. When living for God, I am happy. Joyful. Not without pain and discomfort mind you. No one can escape that as long as she’s living on earth. But deep down satisfaction. That’s what knowing Jesus gives. I’ll take that over the old way of living any day of the week.

What better time than Easter to celebrate a resurrected life? His. Mine. Maybe yours, too? This Good Friday I echo the words of the Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” That’s what’s so good about it!

Luke 23:42-43 “Then he (the thief) said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”

This prayer has made the passage in Luke very relevant to my life this Good Friday.  I hope it will cause you to draw closer to the Savior as well.
“Dear Jesus,

Help me to look at you through the eyes of that thief on the cross. And grant me the grace, I pray, to see in your eyes the forgiveness that he saw.

For I, too, have stolen much. When I have gossiped, I have taken from another’s reputation, and in the process, robbed from my own. When I have raised my voice in anger, I have taken something away from peace. When I have aided and abetted immoral thoughts, I have stolen from another’s dignity, depreciating that person from a sacred object of your love to a common object of my own lust. When I have hurt someone’s feelings, I have taken from that person’s self-worth - something which might never be replaced, something for which I might never be able to make restitution. When I have spoken the truth, but not in love, I have stolen from your kingdom by pushing a soul, not closer, but farther away from the borders of paradise.

Remember me, O King, a common thief….Grant me the grace to live such a life that when you do remember me in your kingdom, O Lord, you may remember me with a smile, and look forward to the day when I, too, will be with you in paradise…”*

*From “Intimate Moments with the Savior” by Ken Gire

HI there girlfriends,

Here it is - another holiday to commemorate our faith - just on the horizon.  Easter!  Resurrection Sunday!  I hope you’ve been spending some time these last few days or weeks preparing your heart for Easter Sunday.  Not unlike Christmas, I choose to spend as much time as I can immersing my mind in whatever will take me back to that important week in Christian history.

In years past I have often felt that Easter has “snuck up on me”.  In other words, when I get to church on Easter Sunday, I fully enjoy the service and usually cry some, but feel a little empty - like it wasn’t enough.  As if something really important has come and gone and I just grazed the surface of it.  So, each year I make a concerted effort for that NOT to happen.  After all, if Jesus hadn’t died on the cross and rose that beautiful Sunday morning - we’d have nothing to hang our hope on.  He wants us to celebrate!  This is BIG! 

Here are a few suggestions for you and your family:

• Reading through the Gospel accounts leading up to the Triumphal Entry of Jesus into Jerusalem on what we call Palm Sunday and through the resurrection and sightings of Jesus.
• Share “Resurrection Eggs” activities with the kids
• Watch Biblically historical movies such as the Jesus movie (for younger kids) and Passion of the Christ for adults and mature teens.
• Practice self-denial or fasting to relate on a small level to what Jesus gave up for us.
• Attend Good Friday and Sunday morning services.  I can recommend a great church:).

How about you?  Do you have some favorite Easter traditions that focus you and/or your family’s eyes on Jesus that you’d be willing to share with us?  Don’t be shy - log on and let us know.

Happy Valentine’s Day, ladies.  Some years it seems like a more important holiday than others.  This year I feel just a little bit sad.  Not because my husband hasn’t “come through” because he has.  (He heard and heeded that sermon last week and has surprised me twice already and he’s not even in town!)  No, it’s because I’m thinking of some women I know who’d like this to be a special holiday but it won’t be.  At least not in the “Hallmark” sense of the word.

What goes wrong when a Christian marriage fails?  I know it’s not simple enough to summarize in a sentence.  But when I sit and grieve for my friends who’ve lost their loves I wonder.   Every time I hear of another couple succombing to separation or divorce it makes me evaluate my own marriage.  What’s kept us together for nearly 19 years?  It’s God for sure.  I think Scott and I would both agree that when we change our focus to “this is about me” that’s when it goes sour.  Whenever we look to get our own needs met before putting the other first, it gets out of focus and can turn ugly.  Satan can use so little to draw a wedge.  When I think about some of the fights I’ve picked and grudges I’ve held through the years I’m embarrassed - they were all about me.  He didn’t do this.  He didn’t do that.  He didn’t read my mind and know what I needed - or wanted.  How could he?  So foolish.  And so unnecessary.

I wonder how different Christian marriages would look if our #1 goal in it was to glorify God through our union. To be a reflection of Christ and the church as depicted in the New Testament.  Why else would He use that analogy if that weren’t His goal too?   We could set a wonderful example to all those family members and friends who observe our relationships.  Do they see Christ in us?  Or do they see two selfish people trying to get their own way.  I ran into a woman I know just a little the other day.  One thing I noted about our conversation is that each time we meet, no matter what the subject, she speaks negatively of her husband.  It was so obvious this day that I felt sorry for him.  She knocked his punctuality, his thoughtfulness, his dealings with their son, you  name it, he is a failure at it.  I wondered how much of that she tells him.  And how that kind of attitude could never glorify Christ.  We’re all sinners.  Not one perfect.  It’s Jesus who is perfect and perfecting us - with great patience, I might add.

Before I continue, I need to say I’m not talking to women who are in abusive relationships right now.  Seeking safety and protection for you and your children is very important.  I’m talking to those of us who are married to men who aren’t perfect.  Who maybe aren’t the same as when we dated and first married them.  Turn the mirror around, girlfriends, we’re not the same either.  One thing I frequently ask Scott (usually on our anniversary) is “Would you marry me again knowing everything you know now?”.  Try to set aside his imperfections and recognize your own.  Let’s look to God to be our completer, not our mate.  It’s not his job.  God is the lover of your soul.  He’s the one who longs for you.  Who has save you.  Who has a plan for your life and future. Who is your need-meeter.

Don’t put that kind of stress on your husband.  Just love him.  And be loveable.  Be loveable.  Be a woman he can be proud of.  One he can’t wait to come home to at the end of the day.  Be Christlike.  If we strive to be like Jesus and our husbands strive to be like Jesus - this journey might have a lot less struggles.  And it might just draw others to salvation in Jesus Christ without us even realizing it.  Remember, it’s about Him, not us.  Happy Valentine’s Day.

Would you share with us how you’re going to show love to your mate - or your Savior if you don’t have one - this holiday?